Mourning Glory
by DrKCooper
Summary: What if Kalinda stumbled out of a bar the night of Will's memorial service and Alicia spotted her and took her home? How do these two women come to terms with Will's death and their broken friendship? Co-written with Good Scottish Wife. Rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: All recognizable _The Good Wife_ characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners including, but not limited to CBS. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fan fiction story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No financial gain is associated with the publishing of this story. No copyright infringement is intended._

_Author's Note: This piece was co-written with Good Scottish Wife. The idea originated in her brilliant mind. It was a pleasure to team up with her, my first co-write. Enjoy! –dkc_

**Mourning Glory**

Alicia sat in her car, parked on the street across from an all too familiar bar. She used to come here with Kalinda. Then Kalinda started frequenting the bar with Will.

Will.

She sat next to Diane at the funeral, holding the lawyer's hand and sharing her shattering grief. On only one occasion her eyes met those of her once best friend. Kalinda appeared broken. Not even her stubborn, closed off nature could hide how heartbroken she was by the death of her friend. She and Will had always been close. Alicia couldn't remember why that was. She only knew that Will had brought her on in his early days at the firm, long before he was a named partner. She was loyal to him. Alicia envied how well she'd known Will. Despite their affair, Alicia never really knew Will. Not his past, not what he hoped for his future.

Sitting outside the bar at two in the morning, Alicia had no idea what to do. The kids were with Peter in Springfield. She couldn't bring herself to go home. She had found herself all too often drinking away her grief while watching mind-numbing shows on Netflix.

Somehow she felt the closest to Will right here looking at the bar where he had spent so much time. Strangely, where she had once spent many a night with Kalinda. Kalinda made her feel closer to Will. But that closeness would have to come from merely sitting here. She and Kalinda were no longer close. What they once were was greatly missed on the lawyer's part, but there was too much history between them. Alicia had finally forgiven Kalinda, understanding why Kalinda did what she had. She hadn't told Kalinda. She was too proud, she knew.

Picking up her phone, she once again listened to that final message from Will. She wondered again, for the millionth time, what he had called for. Her eyes welled with tears.

Returning her phone to the console, afraid she would continue to listen to Will's voice if she had the phone in her hand, Alicia blinked back tears. Looking up she thought her eyes were playing tricks on her. She was tired; tears blurred her eyes. She couldn't possibly be seeing Kalinda.

Through the wall of glass at the front of the bar, Alicia's eyes landed on the investigator. She appeared to be having a conversation with the bartender. It looked heated; Kalinda was now standing and gesturing erratically with her hands. She stumbled backward slightly before reaching for her glass and throwing back what was left of her drink.

The woman staggered through the bar toward the door. Alicia knew immediately that Kalinda had been drinking for some time, perhaps since Will's funeral ended. Now that she thought about it, she couldn't remember seeing Kalinda outside after the service or at the burial.

When the bar's door swung open, the brunette continued to watch the woman stumbling her way down the sidewalk. She didn't get far. A bench a few dozen steps away caught the investigator's attention. For a moment she stared at it with careful consideration. Alicia watched this in wonder. What was Kalinda doing?

An unstable Kalinda, whether from drink or really anything at all, was unusual. She had never been less than put together or completely in control in Alicia's presence.

Now she was lying down on the bench. For a moment it looked like she was speaking, but at this distance there was no way to know what she had said. Kalinda wrapped her arms around herself and appeared to be dozing off.

Alicia couldn't continue to watch the despondency of the woman she had once cared greatly for. She also couldn't leave her on that bench.

A man approached the bench to check on the drunken woman, making Alicia very nervous in her car. It was the final straw. Alicia climbed out of her car and stood waiting for traffic to slow so she could cross the street. She saw Kalinda dispatch the concerned man, waving him off while never even sitting up.

It was standing there on that sidewalk that she realized exactly how much was lost when their friendship ended. How many times had they been in this very place, drinking tequila and laughing away the stresses of their jobs? On that bench was a woman that she had shared so much with, things she hadn't said to another person. She was the first person who truly cared how Alicia was after Peter's affairs.

Peter. Had she lost the friendship because of Peter or had she used that as an excuse after being truly terrible to Kalinda? She almost had the friendship back, too, but she walked away. Why? It wasn't for Peter. He had told her that his affairs meant nothing to him. She knew that Kalinda had used Peter to get away from her previous life and Peter, fueled by ego and testosterone, had used Kalinda. She suddenly felt angry that he could use Kalinda like that. She had never felt this way about Peter's role in what happened. Even though she knew Kalinda had used him right back, she was much more sympathetic to Kalinda's reasons.

Standing there watching Kalinda she suddenly thought she should go home and leave these thoughts for another time, a time when she wasn't quite as emotional. But as she decided to drive home, she saw Kalinda stand up from the bench, rush to the alley on unsteady feet. She was on her knees, bent over and violently throwing up. Alicia felt a pang of guilt. They had both lost a great deal. Sure, they were both mourning Will's death, but Kalinda was mourning the loss of her only remaining friend and in turn Alicia was feeling that loss, too. On this terrible night, Kalinda had no one to turn to and neither did Alicia.

Tears were streaming down Alicia's cheeks as Kalinda staggered back toward the bench, curling up, as she had been moments before. Passersby were looking at Alicia. She took the first step, crossing the street that was becoming more and more quiet at this time of the late night, well, now early morning. She walked toward the bench and found Kalinda asleep already. She crouched down and placed a gentle hand on the woman's shoulder and tried to wake her up. Kalinda stirred a bit, but didn't wake up. Alicia said her name, not succeeding in waking her up. There was a soft, almost purring sound of snoring coming from her.

Alicia looked around wondering how on earth she was going to wake Kalinda and get her home. After trying to wake her once again, she made up her mind. Kalinda was much smaller than the lawyer. It wasn't many years ago that Alicia was carrying her kids up the stairs of their old home in Highland Park. Since then she carried almost all of there belongings into the current apartment. She was much stronger than she looked. Though she didn't want to attract attention, the First Lady of Illinois tended to do that, she knew she could take all of Kalinda's weight if need be.

After straightening Kalinda's legs, she slid her right arm under the woman's shoulders to bring her to a sitting position. She thought she heard her name murmured. She slid an arm under Kalinda's knees, lifting them slightly over to the edge where she dropped them carefully off the side of the bench. Lifting one of Kalinda's arms and wrapping it around her own shoulders, Alicia was able to lift her into a standing position. Even like this she couldn't believe how light Kalinda was. Her personality and attitude made her seem far bigger than she was. Kalinda's head fell back over Alicia's arm, and her arms hung limply as Alicia guided her across the street toward her car.

Kalinda said something that Alicia couldn't make out. She could have sworn she said something about the bench. She hoped it was it wasn't important. When they reached the car, she was forced to support Kalinda's body against the car while she reached in her pocket for the keys. Standing like this with her body pressed to Kalinda's caused her to shiver. What was that about? She quickly unlocked the passenger door and carefully helped Kalinda into the seat. She buckled the investigator in and closed the door. Walking around the front of the car Alicia took a deep breath. What was she going to do with Kalinda now?

She would take Kalinda home, she decided as she put the car into gear and drove down the street.

"Where are your keys?" Alicia asked her semi-conscious passenger.

When she didn't get a response she grabbed for the clutch Kalinda had with her. While sitting at the stoplight her breath caught when she saw the picture of Will and Kalinda that the woman was carrying with her. It brought tears to her eyes.

A car horn brought her out of the fog.

"Your keys aren't in there," she said to Kalinda as she handed it back.

Alicia wondered if she still had Kalinda's address in her GPS. She had done all kinds of things to wipe Kalinda from her life after the ultimate betrayal. She thought back to when Kalinda gave her the address to her new apartment. It was the most open offering she had received from her friend, however odd and unexpected it was at the time.

At the next red light Alicia reached over to check all of the pockets in Kalinda's leather jacket. To the surprise of the wide-eyed passenger, the lawyer unzipped the jacket to check the inner pockets, too. No keys. Not even her car keys. How did she get to the bar then?

"Kalinda, why don't you have your keys?" she tried once again.

This time the investigator appeared to be pondering the question.

"Joel," she finally said.

That name brought with it many memories. The bartender. Their bartender, Alicia remembered. She realized that he must have taken Kalinda's keys and that was the cause of the argument earlier. Good for him, she thought. She wouldn't put it past the notoriously stubborn woman to get behind the wheel despite being inebriated.

Well, that settles it, Alicia decided. She would take Kalinda home with her. They were getting close to her apartment anyway.

Once she reached the underground parking structure at her apartment building, Alicia looked over and realized the very drunk Kalinda had passed out. How was she going to get her all the way up to her apartment from here? God help her if she ran into one of her nosey neighbors.

Sitting in the parked car for several minutes, Alicia noticed her eyes had been on her passenger for longer than was appropriate. She was noticing how peaceful Kalinda seemed asleep. She knew her inner turmoil, turmoil they currently shared. She also knew that it must have taken a great deal of pain for Kalinda to get this plastered. Ever vigilant about being in control, this was unlike her.

"Kalinda…" Alicia said softly. "I'm going to help you inside now."

She got out of the car and quickly made her way to the passenger side. Opening the door, she saw for the first time how the woman's already short skirt had edged up. She could see the topmost part of black stockings. She had to tear her eyes away, fearful of what might happen if she continued to look at Kalinda's legs. It was a foreign feeling, not trusting one's own eyes or actions.

"Kalinda," Alicia spoke. "Come on."

She unbuckled Kalinda and once again put an arm around her shoulders. She pulled the stocking-clad legs out of the car and placed them on the ground. Looking around to assure her that nobody was watching, Alicia lifted Kalinda into a standing position. She kicked the door closed once she was certain it would clear both of them.

They reached the entrance and then the elevator bay without incident, Kalinda doing very little to help the cause. Had she not been afraid of someone in the apartment lobby getting suspicious, she might have picked Kalinda up to make it both easier and faster. Stepping into the elevator, Kalinda was half awake and stumbling. Thankfully Alicia was supporting her by with an arm around Kalinda's back, under her arms.

As the elevator began to climb to Alicia's floor, she found herself needing a sudden intake of air as Kalinda turned her body and curled her face into Alicia's neck. The shorter woman took a deep breath, as if taking in the scent of the lawyer, and then casually put her arms around the brunette's waist. There was that feeling again, Alicia thought. Gulping, she felt strangely excited about the closeness of Kalinda.

Alicia did something she couldn't remember having ever done when they were friends—she pulled Kalinda tight to her, embracing the woman tenderly as they made their way to the 9th floor. Kalinda's head was now resting on Alicia's chest, a sensation that made the lawyer close her eyes. She lost herself in the moment, until she heard the familiar ding signaling they had reached the desired floor. As the doors opened she quickly loosened her arms from around Kalinda and gently, but quickly tried to move Kalinda away from her and out of the space.

Luckily nobody was waiting outside for the lift, to Alicia's relief. She guided Kalinda to her front door and once again found herself pressed to Kalinda, supporting her against the hallway wall, while she searched for her keys. The shiver of want made its presence known again.

They managed to make their way in, Alicia supporting Kalinda the entire way as she kicked the door shut. She guided her guest to the couch in her living room so she could lock the door.

"Kalinda?" she tested the woman's consciousness.

"Hmm?" she slurred.

"I'm going to get you some water and aspirin," she told her.

Kalinda was safely and comfortably situated on the couch while Alicia went to the kitchen and then the kids' bathroom to find some aspirin. She knew she had bought the aspirin for Grace, but the memory that came to her was the night Owen had visited last. They had stayed up drinking well into the morning, telling stories about their mother and laughing. Owen had always been a bad influence, but she loved him and wished she had more time to spend with him. They'd both taken aspirin that night and still woke up with raging hangovers.

When she returned to the living room with the water and aspirin, there was no sign of Kalinda. She quickly checked the front door, finding it was still locked. She went to each of the kids' bedrooms, not finding Kalinda.

"Kalinda?" she asked, loudly enough to be heard throughout the apartment.

When she didn't hear a response she went to her own bedroom.

"Kalinda," she said much softer.

Finding the small woman on her bed on top of the covers, her breath caught in her throat.

She must have been too drunk to realize where she was. She knew, of course, how to find Alicia's bedroom. She'd been in this room before.

Trying not to leer, Alicia looked away while formulating a plan. Somewhat regrettably, the lawyer's eyes returned to the woman on the bed.

Kalinda was laying horizontally across the bed, her boots hanging over the edge. She couldn't possibly leave her fully clothed with her boots on all night. Stooping to reach for the boots that were quintessentially Kalinda, she slowly pulled the zipper down her left boot and removed it. Unable to help herself, Alicia noticed just how nice Kalinda's legs were. Perfectly toned, helped inevitably by the heels she always wore. She had always been taken with the olive skin tone. And now she saw how petite the investigator's feet were. She repeated her motions with the other boot, once again noticing the beauty of the leg she was supporting in her hand. God, what was she doing?

"You need to turn over," she instructed. "It'll be easier to change."

Not until the words were out of her mouth did Alicia admit to herself what she was about to do. The only way to get the woman changed into a pair of pajamas was to do it without Kalinda's assistance. She shook her head at the thought of what was about to transpire.

Hoping a step away might calm her nerves and her hormones, Alicia sought out a pair of her two-piece silk pajamas. The button-up front would be easy enough, she thought. The front… Oh, god. Her mind considered for a moment how intimate she would have to get with Kalinda and how close she would be, while doing up those buttons, to the woman's breasts. Once again she gulped.

Once she'd picked the pajamas, she turned back to see Kalinda drunkenly turning herself over on the bed. If she weren't battling her own unfamiliar feelings for this woman, she would have laughed at the sight. There was nothing graceful about Kalinda's movements.

Stepping forward and perching on the edge of her bed, Alicia reached for the zipper of the leather jacket. She slowly slid it down, trying to still the trembling of her hand as she did so.

"You need to sit up," Alicia told her. "So we can take this off."

Kalinda held her arms out for Alicia to take, silently requesting help. Alicia did as she was asked and pulled Kalinda to a sitting position.

"I'm going to take this off of you," the lawyer's voice was shaky.

"You don't have to talk me through it," Kalinda spoke unclearly, but what she said next was clear as day. "Undress me."

The brunette knew she was blushing. Her stomach dropped. She couldn't help but imagine Kalinda asking the same thing in much different circumstances. The fantasy whisked her away for a moment until she snapped out of it and could again focus on the task at hand.

She slipped the jacket over Kalinda's slender shoulders, finding a ribbed tank top underneath. She wondered if this is what the investigator always wore under her leather attire.

"Do you want to leave this on?" Alicia motioned to the tank.

"Mmm…no."

For a moment the sober woman hoped that Kalinda would remove it herself. She didn't know how she would still her hands if she did it herself. She was left to deal with it when Kalinda raised her hands above her head so it could be lifted off.

Closing her eyes once gripping the bottom of the item, Alicia lifted it quickly and hoped it had cleared Kalinda's head. Once she knew she was holding it above her head, she opened her eyes.

"Oh," she found herself saying aloud, sounding alien in her ears.

She hoped to hide the fact that she had looked at Kalinda's lace-covered breasts, but her flushing face, neck and chest were giving her away. Why was she reacting this way? She had never been this flustered by her friend. She had never been this stirred up by another woman. Was the grief playing a trick on her? Was it their history? Why this now?

Unable to focus, Alicia fumbled with the zipper at Kalinda's right hip. She looked everywhere but at the woman she was attempting to undress. Her heart hammered in her chest.

"You should take a breath," Kalinda slurred.

Her words calmed Alicia, though she was surprised Kalinda was capable of noticing how nervous she was. She did precisely as Kalinda told her—breathe—and she was able to direct her attention to the zipper. After dragging the zipper the six inches from the top of her hip, she wondered how she was going to get the skirt off a seated Kalinda.

Her jaw dropped when Kalinda lay back on the bed and lifted her hips, transferring her weight through the heels of her feet. Stunned, but not wanting to leave her in the uncomfortable position, Alicia tugged the skirt down the very legs she had admired earlier. Every bit of willpower was employed to prevent her from looking at the apex of the olive-colored thighs.

Before the pajama bottoms could be slipped into, the stockings had to be removed. The lawyer didn't trust herself with the task. The idea of dragging her fingers down the length of Kalinda's legs was tempting, but also extremely dangerous. These feelings were too new and too raw.

"You have to help," Alicia almost begged.

She could have sworn she saw Kalinda smile smugly when she looked down at her stockings. Thankfully, the woman took the stockings down herself. But Alicia's eyes could not resist watching as hands so practiced at the act slowly slid the stocking down her legs and over her feet.

The heat building low in Alicia's belly had become irrepressible. She leaned back against the bedroom wall as she watched Kalinda pull the silk pajama bottoms on. Taking a deep breath, she attempted, albeit unsuccessfully, to still the ludicrous feelings she was having for this vulnerable woman. Of all the times to realize she felt something for Kalinda, now was the worst possible time.

Once Alicia saw Kalinda was about to lie down again, she put out her hands and gestured for the woman to take them.

"Come on," she pulled Kalinda to a standing position. "You'll thank me later for making you wash your face and brush your teeth."

Once she had guided her to the ensuite she decided Kalinda was safe to stand on her own for a moment. She quickly located the make-up remover wipes and a new toothbrush, but out of the corner of her eye she saw Kalinda starting to lose her footing.

"Hey," Alicia chuckled as she reached Kalinda just in time to get a supportive arm around her, holding her up. "I guess you're going to need some help with this, huh?"

For the first time that night Kalinda actually seemed embarrassed by her state of drunkenness.

"I can't remember ever drinking this much," she muttered as Alicia got her to the sink and stood behind her in case she lost her ability to stay upright again.

"By the looks of you, it's probably a good thing this isn't a regular occurrence," Alicia said, standing a bit closer to Kalinda than she really needed to.

The shorter woman, made even smaller without her boots on, started with the toothbrush. Alicia was silently relieved. She didn't want to be the one to mention vomit breath. She smiled at the comical nature of all of this and how it would have been quite hilarious had the situation not been precipitated by their friend's death.

She found herself once again thinking about Will until she was forced out of her memories by the sudden realization that Kalinda's backside was pressing into her. The woman had bent over to spit in the sink and the unanticipated movement had left Alicia open-mouthed. Over far too quickly, Alicia was forced to take a breath.

Kalinda mumbled when she had too much to drink. This was something Alicia had learned tonight. As she was attempting to regroup from the surprising feeling of the raven-haired woman's behind pressing into her upper thighs, she heard Kalinda mumble something incomprehensible.

"What was that?" Alicia leaned in, finding her chest now pressed against Kalinda's back.

She didn't have to be this close. She didn't have to be in this position at all. But whatever logical thought she would normally have had was eclipsed by how inexplicably turned on she was in the moment. This was insane, she kept telling herself. What was she doing?

"I asked if I smelled minty," the investigator had moved on to removing her makeup, her eyes watching Alicia in the mirror.

Alicia couldn't bring herself to respond nor could she control where her mind went with Kalinda's question. She was now mesmerized by how if this woman smelled minty, she must also taste minty. How had she never wondered what Kalinda tasted like before now?

"Alicia?" she spoke, never leaving the lawyer's eyes in the mirror.

"Hmm?" Alicia's voice cracked, she was feeling caught in the act even though Kalinda couldn't possibly know what she was thinking.

For some reason all of this struck the drunken woman funny and she started laughing in a way neither woman had heard from her mouth in a very long time. The moment of levity is exactly what Alicia needed to regroup, but whatever control she acquired in that moment was lost when Kalinda finished the smooth strokes over her face with the face wipes and turned so they were facing one another.

"Minty?" she leaned in until her mouth was almost touching Alicia's.

Melting into a puddle of desire, Alicia couldn't beckon her voice to answer. She finally was able to nod.

Before she could truly pull herself together, Kalinda slid past her. Alicia was dumbfounded. Did Kalinda not feel anything? Was she teasing Alicia? Or was something going on between them tonight that actually meant more than one friend helping out another? She didn't have answers to any of these questions. And she certainly couldn't explain why her body was betraying her with nervousness and, yes, arousal.

"Kalinda," she rolled her eyes. "You need to get under the covers."

The investigator had flopped down on top of the blankets. Though it meant more work to get Kalinda tucked in, it did put a smile on Alicia's face.

Rolling over to one side of the bed, Kalinda waited for Alicia to pull the blankets down on the other. She then groaned as she rolled back over. The lawyer was quick to cover Kalinda up, whether she was hoping that not being able to see Kalinda in the very silk pajamas that had graced her own bare skin would calm the inferno she was experiencing, she couldn't decide.

Tucking Kalinda in was a privilege she never imagined would be hers. As the woman got comfortable in Alicia's bed, it was obvious once her eyes closed she would be out for many hours. All of it seemed surreal to Alicia. Kalinda in her bed, in her pajamas, after having pressed against Alicia in what should have been an innocent moment but felt anything but.

Kalinda's eyes were half open as her now familiar mumble caught Alicia off guard and she had to ask her to repeat what she had said.

"Thanks for looking after me," she said.

The look on her face as she looked up at Alicia was almost penitent.

The lawyer placed on gentle hand on Kalinda's cheek and smiled.

"You're welcome."

Alicia bent over to kiss Kalinda's cheek and just as she reached her, the investigator turned her head, not interpreting what the brunette was doing, and Alicia found herself kissing Kalinda's lips.

It was fleeting, but exhilarating.

Alicia pulled away quickly and was surprised to find Kalinda's eyes were closed, not in sleep. When her eyes fluttered open again, she found a stunned look that seemed to be as confused, if not more so, as Alicia.

"Um, I'm sorry," Alicia knew she was blushing and couldn't do a damn thing to stop it.

"S'okay," Kalinda mumbled.

Before either could say anything more, Kalinda's eyes closed again and this time it was clear she was falling asleep. It was better this way, Alicia realized. Otherwise she may have kissed Kalinda again, Kalinda who tasted like mint, and too much of that would certainly be taking advantage of the situation.

It was nearly 4 a.m. and sleep was far from Alicia's mind.

Walking into the kitchen, Alicia found her fingers going to her lips as if touching them would stop the tingling sensation that was brought on by the kiss. The sensation had been seared into her mind.

Pouring herself a large glass of wine, she moved to the couch where she found herself agonizing over everything that had happened tonight. By the time she had finished her glass of wine, she had started to think about what more than a kiss with Kalinda would be like. As hard as she tried to not think about it, she kept finding herself rerunning the sight of Kalinda's hands sliding down her stockings. Why had she never had this degree of awareness about how she felt for Kalinda? What was it about tonight that made her finally recognize how absolutely sexy her once-friend was? Why had she never had this strong physical reaction to the sight and sound of her?

More wine was poured. More wine was consumed.

From her perch on the couch, Alicia spotted Kalinda's clutch and remembered the photo she saw inside it early of Will and Kalinda. Picking up the clutch and removing the picture, she found herself having another look at it. Will and Kalinda looked so happy together. She suddenly felt a pain in her heart for Kalinda, realizing for the first time truly how sad and alone she must feel to be carrying this photo around with her. She had lost her only friend whilst Alicia had only really lost an ex-lover whom she had hurt very badly. She may have loved him once, but she never knew how Will really felt. As much as Will had meant to Alicia at one time, when she walked away from Lockhart/Gardner, she had severed that connection with him. Will and Kalinda had done no such thing. They were close up until that fateful day in the courtroom.

Poor Kalinda, she found herself thinking repeatedly. She knew what it felt like to not have any friends. She hadn't had a real friend since she foolishly walked away from her friendship with Kalinda. She started thinking about the friends she'd had in her life and she couldn't think of a single friend who made her feel the way Kalinda had. Kalinda had been protective and supportive. They were both friendless now. And honestly, they both needed each other. She found herself looking over at the door to her bedroom and thinking about how badly she needed the woman who was asleep on her bed.

After returning the picture to the clutch, Alicia returned her wine glass to the kitchen where she poured a bit more and then swallowed it quickly without savoring the buttery oak-tinted notes. She regretted that she could no longer taste a hint of mint.

When her eyes landed on her own bedroom door once again, she gravitated toward it. Looking in, she saw that Kalinda hadn't moved. She was sleeping peacefully. Alicia thought back to the only time she had ever actually seen Kalinda sleep. It was when they shared a room on that case in Minnesota. They had nearly patched up their friendship for good on that trip. But Alicia walked away.

Alicia stood in the doorway for some time, wondering about that trip and all of the chances she had to make things right with her old friend. Why couldn't she forgive her? Why couldn't she give her another chance?

Finally moving, unable to ward off the voyeuristic feeling, Alicia found her own pajamas and went into the ensuite to change. She prepared for bed just as Kalinda had in that very space. When she opened the door, she was taken aback by how beautiful Kalinda was in her bed. Her darker skin tone contrasted nicely with the white linens of Alicia's bed. Even like this she hadn't seen Kalinda with her hair down. Why was that? It was almost as if she was hiding that one piece of herself from the rest of the world.

Despite her intention of sleeping in Grace's room, Alicia found herself climbing onto the bed opposite Kalinda. She didn't touch her. She didn't even wake her. She lay on her side, her hands tucked up under her right cheek, watching Kalinda. She tried to match her breathing to that of the sleeping woman. She tried to imagine what dreams Kalinda might be having. More than anything her mind kept returning to the kiss. Would Kalinda even remember it in the morning? And what would she say?

When the clock struck five, Alicia withdrew from the bed and made her way across the hall to Grace's bedroom. Though sleep did not come easily, there was no question that Kalinda was the last thing on her mind when she went to sleep and undoubtedly she would be the first thing on her mind when she awoke.

It was a restless two hours of sleep for Alicia Florrick.

_To be continued…_


	2. Chapter 2

**Mourning Glory: Chapter Two**

When Alicia awoke two hours after having finally fallen asleep in her daughter's bed, she didn't feel like the weight of the day before had sloughed off in her sleep.

"Ugh," she groaned as she put her hand over her face.

Everything that happened before she had gone to sleep flooded her thoughts. She had kissed Kalinda. A drunk Kalinda at that.

Alicia got up to pee, but remembered that the hallway bathroom once again had a plugged toilet. Oh, the joys of being a homeowner. She would have to sneak into her bedroom to use the bathroom in the ensuite.

Her bedroom door was still closed when she made her way into the hallway. She stared at the door as if it were the biggest obstacle facing her. It wasn't the door so much as the guest on the other side of the door that worried her. She couldn't believe she was acting this way.

She opened the door as quietly as she could, but it still made a creaking noise as it swung open. Alicia winced at the sound, thinking she'll have woken Kalinda. But Kalinda is still fast asleep, all tucked in like she'd hardly moved at all since Alicia saw her last. She hadn't even turned over. As Alicia entered the room, she found herself approaching the bed, noticing with interest how Kalinda's hair had come undone in her sleep and was now messily over her face. She smiled, and walked past the bed towards the ensuite. As much as she wanted to brush the silky raven hair from the sleeping woman's face, she was afraid of what it might mean and how she would explain it to Kalinda if she were to awake.

Alicia took care of her business, put a robe over her pajamas, brushed her teeth and exited the bedroom without giving in to the urge to touch a sleeping Kalinda.

Retreating to the kitchen, Alicia began a pot of coffee and opened the fridge to find the necessary ingredients for a hangover-killing breakfast.

Meanwhile, Kalinda began stirring in Alicia's bed. She opened her eyes, blinking several times. With one swipe across her face she brushed her hair aside and then propped herself up on her elbows. She realized she was alone in the bed, but could see the distinct impression of someone's body having been next to her at one point. She noticed the dip in the pillow and then a familiar smell wafted up to her nose. Alicia? She sat up quickly, blinking and rubbing her eyes, before looking around to find a familiar armchair in the corner of the room. She recalled sitting on that chair once upon a time, talking on the phone with Will. A deep pain filled her chest at the thought of Will. It had been the Carter Wright appeal and they had a mere nine hours to save him from execution.

"Holy shit!" Kalinda whispered after a sharp inhalation of breath.

What the Fuck was she doing in Alicia's bed? How did she get there? she wondered. She looked down and noticed the foreign pajamas she was wearing. How did she get into them? Kalinda thought hard about the last place she remembered being. Will's memorial. No, the bar. She had sat at the bar after the memorial, ditching the entourage to the cemetery. Did she call Alicia? Why would she? Did Alicia happen into the bar? Kalinda couldn't think.

Kalinda forced herself out of bed and began looking for her clothes. They were nowhere to be found. Boots? She couldn't see them either. She began to panic. Her pounding head and queasy stomach were another reminder that she must have had far too much to drink the night before. She went into the bathroom and caught her reflection in the mirror—oh, God! She had on no makeup. She was completely bare, including the smallest blemish on her chin. She was really annoyed now! What the hell happened last night? She went to the bathroom before storming off to the kitchen where she assumed Alicia would be.

Alicia was in the kitchen preparing a hangover concoction in the blender of banana and yogurt. It was something she used to make for Owen when he was hungover. It seemed to work for him and hopefully it would for Kalinda. She was also prepping the ingredients for a hash. Then she heard footsteps advancing toward her in a hurry. She turned around just in time to see a pissed off looking Kalinda entering the kitchen.

"You took my make-up off!? And where are my clothes!?" Kalinda charged.

"Good morning to you, too," Alicia passed her the banana yogurt smoothie, "here, drink up. It will help your stomach."

"What the hell is it? It looks like vomit. I'm not drinking it," Kalinda complained, crossing her arms. "Where are my clothes? I need to go home."

"Not before you've had some breakfast. You need to treat the hangover," Alicia's voice was calm despite the butterflies building in her stomach with every minute in the presence of Kalinda.

"Can I have my clothes first?" Kalinda demanded.

"Of course," Alicia said. "They're hanging on the back of the bathroom door. I thought you'd see them."

"Oh," Kalinda was embarrassed.

As the investigator left the kitchen, Alicia dished up breakfast and sat down with her cup of coffee. She was reading the newspaper when Kalinda returned.

"My makeup? And, uh, how I got into the pajamas? Your pajamas," Kalinda asked as she sat down on a bar stool and reached for a much-needed cup of coffee.

"Drink the smoothie first," Alicia urged. "It'll soothe your stomach."

"Are you going to answer my questions?" Kalinda was angry.

Alicia pushed a plate in front of Kalinda while gathering her thoughts. How should she explain what happened last night? So far the only questions were about her clothes and makeup. The more complicated questions would surely come.

"I thought you would appreciate not having to sleep in your makeup. You did it yourself, if that's what you are wondering," Alicia sighed.

"And the pajamas?" Kalinda looked at her plate instead of Alicia.

"I helped you," Alicia kept it simple.

If Kalinda knew how Alicia's eyes had followed the length of her stocking-clad legs and had tried desperately not to look at her chest, Kalinda would likely be angry and certainly uncomfortable.

"Okay."

Kalinda tried not to think about the process of undressing her and how Alicia's hands must have touched her. The thought alone made her squirm.

"You laid with me," Kalinda stated, not expecting a response.

There was silence once again. Alicia knew that Kalinda remembered some parts of the night before. She was curious, though mortified, of what Kalinda might remember. Did she remember Alicia's eyes on her legs? Did she remember the kiss? Had she felt anything?

"I drank a lot," she said, taking a drink of the banana/yogurt concoction. "I didn't know what to do."

Will. Did anyone know what to do in the aftermath of a heartbreaking shock? Alicia had no idea what to say.

"Were you at the bar," Kalinda asked. "Is that how—"

"I was outside the bar," the brunette took a deep breath. "I saw you through the window."

She realized after saying it that she sounded as if she were keeping an eye on Kalinda and not simply sitting outside the bar because she had no idea how to deal with her grief.

"I mean, I wasn't there to watch you," she backtracked. "I happened to be there and saw you."

Kalinda nodded.

"It was our bar," she spoke into her coffee mug. "And then it became Will and I's."

The lawyer knew this. She had avoided the bar after her falling out with Kalinda, but she couldn't break the routine of driving there after work and often saw the two of them entering or exiting. Once she watched them through the large front window, laughing and having a nice time. It hurt to see two people she had once cared deeply about having fun without her.

Kalinda looked up at Alicia, her face bare and open, and her hair messy, but pulled up. The casual way her face and hair looked didn't seem to match the tight black skirt and leather jacket she was wearing.

"I can't eat any more," Kalinda pushed the plate away and stood. "Toothbrush?"

"It's the one on the counter in the ensuite. You used it last night."

For a moment Kalinda thought she remembered minty toothpaste. She knew now that Alicia had been in the bathroom with her as she washed her face and brushed her teeth. This made her blush, something she hid by walking away.

"God," Alicia groaned as she put her head in her hands with Kalinda out of the room.

Once in the bathroom, Kalinda found herself doing the exact thing. Head in hands, she took several deep breaths before looking in the mirror. The mirror she had used the night before to remove her makeup. She remembered then that Alicia had stood behind her. Was she holding her up? She must have been. Why else would Alicia be pressed so close? Oh, god. I pressed my ass into her, didn't I? she thought. And she was flustered, wasn't she? Kalinda had no idea what to make of this. She found herself intrigued by Alicia's reaction, but at the same time furious. If Kalinda made her feel like this, if Kalinda meant enough to her to drag home in a drunken state, why hadn't Alicia spoken to her in months? Why hadn't they seen each other until now? Why hadn't Alicia forgiven her?

Kalinda spit angrily in the sink, slipped on her boots and left the bathroom.

"I'm going," Kalinda huffed as she came through the kitchen.

"You didn't eat much," Alicia was surprised by the investigator's sudden desire to leave. "And you don't have to go so soon. Plus I have to drive you. Your keys are at the bar."

"I'll take a cab."

"Kalinda, what's wrong?" the brunette stepped around the island toward her.

"Don't," Kalinda took a step back. "Nothing is wrong."

"Between breakfast and brushing your teeth something happened," Alicia remarked. "You can either tell me about it now or I'll keep asking."

"Drop it, okay?" Kalinda bit.

"Excuse me?" Alicia was fuming now. "I picked you up, I brought you home, I gave you a place to sleep, I made you breakfast—do you have any idea how long it has been since I made a smoothie?—and you're telling me to drop it?"

Looking at the floor, the investigator carefully considered her options. Having an argument while hung over was not her idea of a good way to spend the morning. She knew this argument was coming, she knew no amount of space or time between them would fix what had happened between them.

Without saying a word, the tall-booted woman walked toward the front door. A forceful hand on the door stopped her.

"Why won't you tell me, Kalinda?" Alicia seethed. "Why won't you tell me anything?"

"Why won't _I_ tell you anything? Why won't _I_?!" Kalinda stepped away from Alicia. "Why the hell didn't you tell me you were leaving LG?"

"That's what you're upset about? I didn't tell anyone!" the lawyer's hands were on her hips, her jaw clenched in anger.

"You told Cary. You told everyone that you took with you. You told Robyn," despite the anger building within her, Kalinda seemed cool on the outside.

"Robyn? That's your problem, that we didn't take you and that we took Robyn? Come on, Kalinda. You've always been Diane's right hand."

Kalinda's first outward showing of anger came with the shaking of her head and biting her tongue.

"You never told me about you and Cary," Alicia charged.

"What? Cary and I aren't anything," Kalinda answered. "And what business is it of yours?"

"What business is it of mine? Who dragged you home last night? Who kept the secret about your husband? Who continues to ignore your constant interactions with Lemond Bishop?" Alicia's hands were out, taking a step toward the investigator.

"You're kidding," she let out a cynical laugh. "Who keeps the secret about _your_ husband? That's much more dangerous than _my_ husband. You've known from the moment I met you that I'm the in-house. My 'interactions' with Bishop are a requirement of my job," Kalinda rocked back on her heels, swiping a stray lock of hair out of her face.

"You had to mention Peter, didn't you?" Alicia cringed.

The brunette began walking away, the anger overtaken by pain, but her abrupt turn back caught Kalinda unawares.

"You lied to me!" she advanced on the stunned investigator. "You slept with Peter and lied to me. We were friends! What was I? Your goddamn pity project?"

"We've done this before, Alicia," Kalinda held her hands chest high, a symbolic warding off of the conversation. "How many times do I have to tell you I'm sorry?"

"Did you ever really like me?" Alicia asked, her voice losing its edge and taking on a hint of sadness.

"Of course I did!" Kalinda shook her head in disbelief. "I've always liked you."

"You liked me so much you slept with my husband!" Alicia's anger resurfaced.

"God, Alicia. Let it go," she walked away, looking everywhere for the clutch she realized she was missing so she could get out of there.

"Tell me how, Kalinda," Alicia was hot on her heels. "Why did you befriend me when all along you knew who I was and had your own history with Peter?"

Kalinda had entered Alicia's bedroom and finally spotted her clutch on the nightstand next to the bed. She was walking toward it when the lawyer caught up to her, her previous question remained unanswered.

"Why is the truth so damn hard for you?" the brunette ran her hands through her messy morning hair.

"Because the truth is complicated!" Kalinda fired back, her patience at an all-time low. "Is it inconceivable that I actually wanted to be your friend? That I thought you were interesting? That I thought we made a great team?"

"If all of those things are true, why didn't you tell me about your past with Peter?" Alicia couldn't fathom what Kalinda's reason was.

"I wanted to be near you! I didn't want to lose you!" Kalinda burst out. "I love you!"

There was a look of pure panic on Kalinda's face. She was right, the truth was complicated, not to mention incredibly dangerous. What did she have to lose? She had already lost her friendship with this woman. Her sexuality was already known. What could telling Alicia that she once loved her, still loved her, cost her at this point?

Alicia unceremoniously plopped herself in the armchair in the corner. Kalinda sighed and also found the need to sit, the edge of the bed holding both the weight of her body and her broken soul.

"You love me? Or loved?" Alicia spoke softly, not daring look at Kalinda.

Exasperated with Alicia's accusations and the woman's utter obliviousness to how Kalinda had been feeling for years, she fell backward on the bed, a deep sigh entering the space between them where an answer should have been. Looking at the ceiling, Kalinda took a deep breath before speaking.

"Does it really matter at this point?" she muttered.

Standing and moving to the corner of the foot of the bed, Alicia sat softly, not knowing what to do with her hands or her eyes. She looked at the art on the wall as she prepared herself for what she was about to say.

"I forgave you, Kalinda," Alicia directed her voice anywhere but at the woman with whom she needed to say these words. "I know why you did it, why you needed his help. I have never come to terms with how you behaved toward me. How you seemed to actually like me; how you offered me friendship. All the while not telling me what you had done."

Kalinda sighed.

"I ran from you," the seated woman admitted.

Closing her eyes to keep the flood of emotions she was feeling at bay, Kalinda tried to find the words to say and couldn't. What do you say when two people admit they were wrong and the path ahead is indiscernible? What do you do when an apology is not enough?

Alicia turned her body enough to face Kalinda and placed a gentle hand on her boot-covered shin.

Something about the woman's touch jarred Kalinda's memory. She remembered Alicia's touch the night before. She remembered Alicia getting her ready for and into bed, this bed. And then it hit her.

Sitting up quickly, Kalinda's eyes locked on Alicia's and the only thing to do was to ask.

"Did you…" Kalinda paused when she saw she had Alicia's undivided attention. "Did you kiss me last night?"

Alicia, sitting quite close to the now curious investigator, looked exasperated and flustered. For the first time that morning Kalinda took in Alicia's appearance. Her hair was mussed, her face void of makeup. She had a silk robe over her cotton pajamas. She couldn't prevent herself from noting that Alicia was sexy as fuck right then. She bit her lip, an action that did not go unnoticed by the flustered woman whose eyes were on Kalinda's lips.

"I…" Alicia stammered. "You were drunk and I…" She what? She hadn't been drinking when she kissed her friend. How would she explain how she'd allowed the touching and possible flirting to turn to a kiss? "I didn't mean to take advantage."

A slight smile escaped Kalinda. Advantage? Hardly.

"You didn't," Kalinda smirked. "As I recall, granted I'm a little foggy on the details, I asked you if I smelled minty."

This made an already off balance Alicia blush. She remembered it well. Their lips were separated by mere air. The question lingered between them as if it were something much more.

While Alicia continued to avoid eye contact, her cheeks a delicate pink, her fingers tracing the zipper of Kalinda's boot.

"I also recall you struggling with the removal of my stockings," at this Kalinda noticed Alicia pressing her thighs together, something that didn't require analysis. It was clear that Alicia still felt quite turned on by the night before.

Kalinda's hand reached out to still Alicia's where it was nervously playing with the boot zipper.

"Alicia," Kalinda's voice shot right to her core.

Closing her eyes to collect herself, the brunette could feel the tension between them. She had kissed Kalinda. There was no denying it. There was also no denying the attraction she felt toward the investigator and the thrill of their bodies pressed together as she helped Kalinda the night before.

Her eyes shot open as she felt the gentle touch of Kalinda's hand on her neck. She allowed her head to be tilted with the subtle nudge of that hand.

"Alicia," Kalinda tried once again.

This time Alicia responded. Without reservation, the lawyer's body turned and her lips connected with Kalinda's. She was as Kalinda imagined she might be-fierce. A torrent of emotions fueled that singular kiss. Anger and frustration, certainly, but also desire and desperation. These two women had harbored so much for so long, it was as if a dam had burst.

"Oh, God," Alicia moaned as they broke momentarily.

Kalinda's mouth immediately latched onto the neck she had admired from afar for years. The faint trace of yesterday's perfume wafted to her nose as her tongue peeked out for a taste. Alicia's moan of appreciation spurred Kalinda on. Her fingers peeled back the neck of the robe and pajama top to expose enticing flesh. As her mouth went to work the lawyer's hands busied themselves with undoing Kalinda's leather jacket.

"Fuck!" Kalinda growled when a hand snuck in to palm her breast.

When she reached for Alicia's hip to pull her closer she was inhibited by her tight skirt that wouldn't allow her to part her legs. This tempting position was not going to work.

"Wait," Kalinda commanded, sliding off the bed.

Pulling off her leather jacket, the standing woman revealed the tank top she'd worn the night before betraying the hardened nipples beneath. Tearing the top over her head, Kalinda had never looked sexier than looking down on Alicia with messy hair, swollen lips and nearly topless.

"Wait," Alicia repeated Kalinda's earlier command, smiling, standing mere inches from her greatest desire.

Kalinda watched as long slim fingers slid the zipper down her hip and outer thigh. Her breath caught as eyes locked on hers while no longer nervous hands slipped the skirt to the floor. Standing at her full height in bare feet, Alicia was nearly the same height as Kalinda in her high heels, a perfect height for their lips to resume a kiss years in the making.

In a tangle of arms, the lawyer's robe was dropped. Kalinda's fingers worked open each of the buttons of the pajama top. As she pushed it off Alicia's shoulders she looked down to find two bare wonders beneath. Dampness was now seeping through her own panties.

Breaking the spell, Kalinda stepped back against the wall and lifted a leg to the arm of the chair to unzip her boot. She was exposed and her damp panties did not go unnoticed.

"Kalinda," she spoke in a thick voice.

Without warning Alicia pressed Kalinda further against the wall, guiding her raised and incredibly flexible leg around her own waist. Their mouths explored with abandon, their hands wandering daringly. Feeling Alicia's bare breasts so close was driving Kalinda crazy. She managed to slip her hand between the wall and her back to unclasp her bra. Impatient hands ripped the straps down her arms while captivated eyes savored the sight.

With a look that spoke to her immense arousal, Alicia took charge. Kalinda never allowed her partners to be even remotely dominant but with Alicia it felt as though it was the only way. The brunette's fingers traced dark areoles, her eyes locked in a silent tug of war with the woman whom she was making increasingly wet.

"Up," she demanded.

Grasping Kalinda's ass and using the wall to support her weight, the taller of the two was displaying her strength as she lifted Kalinda into position. It was a look she would never have dreamed of—Kalinda in only stockings, boots and panties, wrapped around Alicia's waist. And it was a position the investigator had never managed with any of her female lovers, one she fantasized about often.

Kalinda's hands came to frame Alicia's face and their mouths once again met in a battle. Their breasts were forced together, wet panties pressed against Alicia's abdomen causing a guttural moan. Responding to the sound, the investigator's hips rocked forward. The grip on her ass tightened and Kalinda found herself rapidly losing hope of holding on. She had dreamed of this. She had hoped for this. But there was no way in hell to prepare for this.

"God," cried Alicia.

Mouths battled for the upper hand, though Alicia surrendered her dominance to trail kisses down Kalinda's chest. She reached exotic and tantalizing breasts, tracing the darker flesh with her tongue, her eyes looking up to the brown-eyed and quite aroused woman. As she took a nipple into her mouth, she was pleased to feel wet panties press even harder against her. Releasing the nipple with a snap, she caught the tortured look on Kalinda's face.

"What?" Alicia's brow furrowed in fear.

If this was to be the end of their intimacy, Alicia at least wanted to know why. She was certain Kalinda was about to either attempt to talk her out of this or walk out the door.

"I need to feel us again," Kalinda begged.

A sigh of relief accompanied by the heartache of the last few years and the arousal of the moment brought tears to the brunette's eyes. If they were to continue, if Alicia was truly going to show the investigator how much she cared for her, she didn't want it to be like this—against the wall. Using what remained of her strength, Alicia pivoted so she could place Kalinda gently on the freshly made bed. She hadn't even realized until now that her guest had been respectful and made the bed when she got out of it. She found herself wishing it had remained unmade, blankets already a crumpled mess.

Kalinda made a humming sound as she was placed in the middle of the bed or as close to it as Alicia's dwindling strength would allow.

Locking eyes with the now lying woman, Alicia toyed with the drawstring of her pajama bottoms before loosening the strings and slipping her thumbs beneath the waistband. She slowly slid the bottoms down her legs. From Kalinda's position she couldn't tell if Alicia had slipped the panties off with the pants or if she had not been wearing any. The thought that she may not have been wearing any all this time turned her on more than anything up until this point. She felt her own dripping.

"Alicia," Kalinda growled, attempting to come to a sitting position.

Surprisingly, Alicia forced her back down with a stiff arm. She moaned as she watched the zippers of her boots being slid down seductively. When Alicia's eyes met her barely covered core, clearly wet with anticipation, she smirked. They wanted this equally. She saw the animal come out in her friend who then ran her hands up Kalinda's legs after her boots were removed. So close to her waiting core, yet so far, Alicia's hands stilled on thighs to run a finger underneath the tops of sexy stockings. Remembering the night before and how nervous Alicia was about being the one to remove the stockings, she didn't see that same woman now. Alicia was a woman possessed.

There was nothing gentle in the way Alicia pulled the first stocking down the olive-toned leg. Her eyes never left Kalinda's. It was intoxicating, the look they shared. The woman bit her lip, doing everything she could to keep some semblance of control of herself as she was being undressed. She was rewarded with a moan from the brunette at the sight of her teeth toying with her kiss-swollen bottom lip. The second stocking came down much slower; a push-and-pull with Kalinda that drove her wild, the composure of the lawyer was phenomenal.

"For Christ's sake!" Kalinda sat up before Alicia could stop her.

Leaving the stocking around her ankle, Kalinda's hands brought Alicia's mouth to her own, the lawyer bent over to make up for the height difference in this position. Erect nipples grazed the tops of Kalinda's full breasts as their mouths once again danced. Like Kalinda's move, Alicia offered her own surprise—pushing Kalinda back and crawling over her.

When Alicia found Kalinda's hands near her face once again, she was able to grip each of her wrists tightly. She took each hand, putting it on the pillows above Kalinda's head, crossing them at the wrists and holding them there with one hand. The look of complete astonishment on Kalinda's face told Alicia she was doing this right. This is not something Kalinda was accustomed to with her other female lovers and likely not her male ones, either. This was a first for her in a very long time, her facial features revealed that secret.

"Alic—" Kalinda started, but was silenced by a single touch.

The polished nail of Alicia's forefinger nail grazed the other woman's saturated panties. Tracing the length of the wetness, she was rewarded when Kalinda's hips bucked. The gentle touch was unlike any she had ever felt. Maybe it was because this was Alicia, she couldn't even begin to answer that question in the state she found herself.

"Oh, fuck!" Kalinda cried as Alicia continued the motion with the added pressure of the pad of her finger.

"These will have to go," the brunette rasped as she hooked a finger into the narrowest part of the panties.

"I can't wait," Kalinda snarled.

Not wasting any time, Alicia used the position of her finger inside the panties to trace the bare, silky lips that Kalinda was thrusting into her. The feeling alone was making her weak.

"Dammit, Alicia!" the investigator had lost patience and was now ordering her with her eyes to do what they both had in mind from the moment they kissed this morning.

Alicia did exactly as Kalinda demanded, causing a deep moan with the resolute thrust. Eyes closed with the euphoria of the thrusting, Kalinda marveled at the feeling of their breasts pressed together right before lips converged. The kiss was sloppy and fueled with the promise of what was about to come.

Mouths broke apart, eyes locking in an acknowledgment of pleasure and pending release.

Hitting precisely the spot that Kalinda had been awaiting, she let out a strangled scream as she collided with her own limits. Her climax hit her and her eyes fluttered closed. Tilting her chin back in ecstasy, she moaned and bucked her hips one last time.

Losing all ability to hold her own body above the satisfied woman a moment longer, Alicia collapsed. She buried her face in Kalinda's neck, enjoying the feel and taste of her body that glistened with sweat. Alicia released the pinned wrists, though Kalinda hadn't have enough of her own power remaining to move them from that position. As the orgasm subsided, Alicia listened to Kalinda's heavy breathing, her beautiful, full chest moving up and down with each breath. She could then heat Kalinda's heart, galloping wildly in that chest. It was the most fulfilling sound Alicia had ever heard. And the most fulfilling touch came when Kalinda uncharacteristically wrapped an arm around Alicia and kissed mussed brunette locks.

Reclaiming her tired, damp hand, the lawyer sighed in gratification. Further nestling into Kalinda, she pressed a kiss against a slowing pulse point. The kiss spoke silently to the significance of the completed act.

Without a word, Kalinda considered what this woman meant to her. She thought about how easily the glory of this morning could lead to pain. All too often they had hurt one another. First Kalinda with Peter then Alicia with Will, their lies and their avoidance had created a gulf between them. She hoped that gulf had been eclipsed by what a single drunken kiss had led to.

Coming to a resolution in her mind that she would never leave this bed without telling Alicia what this act had meant to her, what the lawyer had always meant to her—repeating that she had only wanted to be close to Alicia, that she liked her, loved her even—Kalinda began to speak, looking down at the lawyer. Finding the words that would express felicity and contentment, the investigator tried to use the very voice that had released that strangled scream moments ago. She cleared her throat and noticed Alicia didn't budge.

She was asleep. The woman who had given without reservation had surrendered to exhaustion.

_To be continued_…


	3. Chapter 3

**Mourning Glory: Chapter Three**

Alicia woke slowly, her mind blurred with the kind of sleep that hadn't lasted long enough. The two hours of sleep early in the morning and now this short hour of sleep after she and Kalinda had—

Kalinda. Where was she?

Lifting her head from the pillow and turning in every direction to take in the room, she realized the noise she had been hearing since she opened her eyes was the shower. Alicia smiled at the thought of hot water running over Kalinda. Her breathing deepened as images danced before her closed eyes. The coiling in her lower abdomen was unbearable.

Climbing out of bed, Alicia entered the en suite and reached for her toothbrush. A quick brushing, her patience expired and Alicia approached the shower. Pulling back the curtain, she couldn't will herself to step forward because her eyes were so taken with the nude woman in her shower.

"Hey," Kalinda wiped the water from her eyes, giving Alicia a full frontal view.

Alicia couldn't begin to formulate words. She stepped into the shower and sought out the other woman's skin. Her hands skimmed both olive-toned arms, her eyes never leaving those of the investigator.

"Good morning," Alicia purred.

Their fingers linked. There was no awkwardness between them and no regrets. Alicia looked at Kalinda with only lust in her eyes; the look returned was one she had never seen before. It was completely open, unguarded. Kalinda Sharma was not harboring secrets or attempting to protect Alicia Florrick from the truth.

"Mmm…" Alicia murmured as Kalinda's mouth began tracing her clavicle.

With their fingers tangled, Alicia couldn't do what she had been wanting to for so long. She dropped Kalinda's hands to free her own to tangle in wet, black tresses. Kalinda's hair was enchanting.

"Oh," the taller woman cried as lips surrounded her right nipple.

Kalinda's mouth was as talented as Alicia had imagined it. Admitting to herself how often she had imagined it reminded the lawyer how badly she had wanted this woman.

Kalinda knelt.

Alicia had never seen the look on Kalinda's face she was seeing now. Yet another look she had never been privy to. It was predatory and yet soft, demanding but considerate.

The investigator's hands began running up and down the fronts of the lawyer's thighs. Arousal ebbed and flowed with the location of taunting thumbs—at its height when those thumbs approached her apex. Watching the hot water stream over Kalinda, her face beneath the falling water. Her legs increasingly weak, Alicia's hands steadied her by gripping the kneeling woman's lithe shoulders.

"Fuck!" Alicia gasped as thumbs tenderly traced her mound as fingers continued tracing silky skin.

Tilting her head back in the hopes of feeling those thumbs so close to her now throbbing core, the brunette was beautiful from Kalinda's viewpoint.

"Look at me," the kneeling woman asked.

Looking down, stilling herself for an even more intense arousal, the lawyer was still stunned by the wicked look on the exotic woman's face as she licked her lips. The stroke of tongue across her bottom lip was preparation. When she was certain her look had the intended result she darted out her tongue to trace wanting lips. The sensation caused hips to buck and it was only a moment before a forceful hand gripped raven rocks to force more contact.

"Jesus," Alicia moaned with the first swipe of an experienced tongue the length of her slit.

That initial feeling was nothing compared to the deeper plunge wet on wet. It was as erotic a sensation as Alicia had ever felt. How had she never done this before?

And then, without adequate warning, she felt her bundle of nerves encapsulated and being eagerly attended to. The suction was beyond stimulating. She had never felt so quickly bordering on orgasm with so little. It was when that talented tongue came to a point and pressed far into her that she wobbled, holding on now to the slippery shower wall. It was but a half dozen more strokes and plunges when weary legs trembled beyond control.

"Kalinda, I—" She was too late to offer her warning.

Her walls tightened, her juices flowed and Kalinda's tongue didn't slow. Riding the many waves of the moment, the investigator gave Alicia plenty of time. Eventually standing, she quirked an eyebrow at the lawyer's expression.

"Let me help you," the taller woman smiled, wiping away excess moisture from the mouth that had so thoroughly pleasured her.

Their mouths connected in a tender kiss.

"Here," Alicia gestured for Kalinda to turn around.

Surprised by the action, Kalinda sighed and her mind fell into a blissful oblivion as her lover began gently washing her hair. Her hair was one of her many secrets; it was kept from all but those she truly trusted. She relaxed her shoulders into every touch until it was time to rinse. Once both steps were completed, the lawyer's delicate hand reached for the taps.

"Let's get out of here," she said with a mischievous look.

Two could play this game. Rather than grab a towel or robe, Kalinda merely wrung out her hair before walking completely nude out of the en suite to the waiting bed.

Intoxicated by the sway of Kalinda's hips, Alicia could hardly move. She grabbed a towel and followed.

Though her hair had remained dry in the shower, her body was dripping as she stepped onto the bedroom carpet. The brunette quickly, albeit poorly, ran the towel over her body. Looking up from the legs she had passed over with the towel, her breath caught in her throat.

Hair dripping, nipples erect, Kalinda stood looking at the lawyer with a vulnerability Alicia had never seen in her eyes until now.

"Kalinda," Alicia whispered.

Taking a step forward, she fingered the towel in her hand. Holding it out, she gently wiped the moisture from Kalinda's face. The investigator's eyes remained closed as Alicia stepped behind her to wring the remaining water from her freshly washed hair. The towel then ran over each shoulder and down the woman's back.

Alicia was rewarded with a sigh.

Taking her time, the taller woman continued to run the towel over every plane of Kalinda's beautiful body.

The towel came to a stop between the woman's full breasts. For the first time since Alicia began her exploration, Kalinda's eyes opened. Those dark, stoic eyes were hiding a building fear.

Attempting to quell her own worry, Alicia dropped the towel to her feet. One step and their mouths came together. The kiss was slow and sensual. What it attempted to hide was the battle they were experiencing as opposing emotions pulled them in different directions. It was only a matter of time before those battles surfaced and broke the kiss.

"This is insane..." Alicia sighed.

"Do you want me to go?" Kalinda offered hollowly.

"We have to talk about this."

Running her hands over her own face, looking up at this person she had cared about from the moment they met, she struggled to free herself of the bonds of silence, secrecy, and independence.

Alicia took Kalinda's hand and led her to the side of the bed.

"Lie down."

Alicia's voice was gentle as she guided Kalinda into bed and covered her with a throw since she was lying on the duvet. She made her way over to the other side of the bed, sliding in, covering herself and turning onto her side. They were both facing each other, each with a hand under their cheek, between their face and the mattress. Neither spoke, staring at each other, memorizing every aspect, every line of one another's faces. Alicia finally spoke.

"How long have you been in love with me?"

Kalinda let out a burst of air. And there it was. The biggest secret she had kept from Alicia had always been her feelings. It was much easier to ignore them, to keep them locked up than to risk putting herself out there in a way that would inevitably cause nothing but trouble.

The emotion in Kalinda's eyes was nothing she had ever seen reflected there. Even her stoicism couldn't hide the true answer to Alicia's question.

"We have to be able to talk about this," Alicia sighed, not out of frustration as much as weariness.

When Kalinda's eyes broke the gaze between them, Alicia used a single finger to tilt up the well-defined chin of the woman who tore at her own feelings.

"I think I knew, not about you but about me," Alicia confessed. "That night I sat waiting at the bar, the night you were late. I worried myself sick that your… husband… had done something to you. That he'd—"

She couldn't speak the rest of the memory and cleared her throat to prevent herself from losing emotional control at the thought. All this time later and the fear still gripped her. Reaching for her hand, the investigator gave it a supportive squeeze, a reminder that she was still here, that she was okay.

"Kalinda, I'm scared," Alicia admitted.

"Of me?" Kalinda seemed genuinely stunned by this revelation, causing Alicia to chuckle at her obliviousness.

"You could break a heart in your sleep."

"What does that mean?" the investigator sat up slightly, holding her head up on a bent arm and elbow.

"You don't need people," Alicia remarked. "You... You don't need me."

If Kalinda had been surprised by Alicia's admission of fear, this remark came like a punch to the gut.

"You can't possibly believe that," Kalinda's jaw became rigid.

There was a silence between them as the lawyer tried to conjure up some way of explaining what she meant without further hurting Kalinda's feelings. For her part, Kalinda was attempting to quiet herself, afraid she might reveal how desperately she needed Alicia and always had. Speaking it out loud made it real. Speaking it out loud meant she was making herself even more vulnerable.

"Can we go for drinks tonight?" a hesitant Kalinda asked.

"Drinks?" Alicia was confused by the change of subject.

It then dawned on Alicia that getting drinks represented something they hadn't shared in months. It represented who they once were, their closeness and their friendship.

"Is that what you want?" she asked.

"Drinks?"

It was Kalinda's turn to be confused.

"To return to being friends, like we were," Alicia explained.

"No," the investigator spoke quickly, too quickly, and Alicia's stomach dropped. If they couldn't return to being friends, how would anything else work? How could they ever share a moment like this again—not just in Alicia's bed, but any realm of intimacy?

The brunette was silent.

"I want more."

Those three words were as surprising to Kalinda's ears as they came out of her mouth as they were to the lawyer when they registered in her own mind. She didn't want to retract them, either. For the first time in years she felt like she had finally been authentic with this woman. She was finally being honest about Alicia's ability to have Kalinda wrapped around her little finger from day one. It was as much honesty with Alicia as it was with herself. She hadn't allowed herself to admit these things in her head and heart.

"I don't know how this can be," Alicia spoke their shared concern.

"We don't have to know that right now, do we?" Kalinda offered another squeeze of the brunette's hand.

"No, I suppose we don't," the heavy sigh behind those words was worrisome to the investigator.

"What?" she pried.

Taking a deep breath and blinking back the moisture pooling in her eyes, Alicia looked directly at Kalinda and said what she believed.

"You'll hurt me again."

The sting of this belief was well supported by the history of their friendship. They had done nothing but hurt each other in the last few years. It began with the revelation of Kalinda sleeping with Peter, but that wasn't the end of it. To some degree Alicia sleeping with Will hurt Kalinda as much as her betrayal of her friend that started the downward spiral. Then came the push-and-pull of their professional lives, their allegiances at Lockhart Gardner. Alicia had been planning to leave the firm with Cary for some time before they made the sudden move. Kalinda had to hear about that from Cary. Then came the incomprehensible hookup with Cary. Hurting each other had become their only hobby, it would seem.

"I never wanted to hurt you the first time," Kalinda's voice took on the frustrated tone that came when she was forced to repeat what happened with Peter. "I was in a terrible place and I had to get out. Peter helped me do that. But I didn't know how I could tell you that without ruining what developed between us. No matter what I did, you would have been hurt. I hope you see that."

This was the truth. They both knew it. The rock and a hard place where Kalinda found herself existed from the day Alicia Florrick was offered the job at Lockhart Gardner. They now had to accept this fact instead of continuing the battle of words and pain between them.

Without knowing where they went from here, the brunette found herself leaning up to Kalinda's level. Pressing her lips to the investigator's thin, soft lips. She didn't push, she simply offered. And Kalinda accepted the offer without the eagerness of the night before but the desire for something beyond what they had shared already.

Pausing the kiss, Alicia pulled back to look into the dark eyes she had missed over the previous months.

"What?" Kalinda couldn't read Alicia's expression.

"I forgive you," the answer tumbled from her lips into the space between them, soothing hearts that had long been raw. "No—"

Kalinda couldn't allow herself to be hopeful if Alicia was only going to break her heart and soul into a million pieces yet again.

"I forgave you," Alicia clarified to Kalinda's great relief. "I don't know when, but I should have said so."

"Alicia—"

"No, listen to me," the brunette put a perfectly manicured finger to the investigator's lips to still her speech. "I realized it too late…what it meant for you to become Kalinda. I didn't know how much of a threat he was. I didn't know what you were facing."

The reminder of what her life had been before Peter Florrick had helped her become Kalinda Sharma brought with it emotions that Kalinda had long buried. She had never told Alicia how much Nick scared her. She had never told Alicia why Nick was gone now. But this was the Alicia she had easily made friends with—the person who could know the unspoken. This was the Alicia she had fallen in love with despite the obvious pitfalls of doing so.

"If I had it to do again," Kalinda's voice was heavy with emotion. "I would have."

Alicia blinked. She knew that Kalinda had no choice and that alone made her admission not sting. The fact that Kalinda had slept with Peter wasn't ever really the issue—Peter had slept with half of Chicago. The pain had always stemmed from the way they had become friends amid the cloud of secrecy about Kalinda's past.

"I don't know how we do this Kalinda, he's still my husband. And he is the Governor of Illinois," Alicia sighed at the thought.

"Nobody has to know," Kalinda assured her. "Until and unless you want them to."

"How will I tell my kids?" Alicia said to a chuckling response from Kalinda.

"Something tells me your son might be a bit jealous of you."

"Zach?!" Alicia was shocked. "Are you sure?"

"Quite," Kalinda smiled.

Mortified, Alicia buried her face in the nape of Kalinda's neck where she mumbled something incomprehensible.

"Your kids will be more receptive than you might think. Kids are much more accepting of these things," Kalinda wrapped an arm around Alicia, pulling her naked body closer to her own.

"About women together?" Alicia mumbled a bit more comprehensibly. "Or a middle-aged mother falling for her extremely sexy and mysterious colleague?"

Hearing Alicia admit that she had fallen for her, too, warmed Kalinda from head to toe. It may have taken a long, daunting road to get here, but they were here now. The past, however painful, was the past. They could do this. They could be whatever they wanted to be for one another. The reality of this was setting in and Kalinda found her mind staggering in response.

"Kalinda?" Alicia noticed Kalinda's silence.

Her mind may not have caught up to the progress they were making on top of the bedding they made a mess of hours before, but her body began leading the way. She placed her hands on each of Alicia's cheeks and brought her in for a searing kiss. Unable to hold herself even an inch off the mattress, Kalinda allowed herself to lie back and relax as she watched Alicia crawl onto her body, straddling her waist. Where a kiss spoke to willingness, the subtle tilt of curvy hips portrayed eagerness. A seamless rhythm of hips rocking in a gentle motion came to be joined by meandering hands. The only time either woman lost eye contact with the other was when their mouths came together causing their eyes to ripple closed.

As Alicia moaned Kalinda's name, they both knew the brink was not far. That one word from the lawyer's usually vocal mouth was the only actual word exchanged. They hadn't been quiet, no, quite the opposite, they simply no longer needed words.

It was friction that drew them to the precipice. Their hands tangled together, their eyes locked and their souls found a mutual solace.

The brunette's heart and breathing continued beating rapidly as she fell to the side. Silence continued in a soothing, comfortable way.

Curling into Alicia's side, Kalinda placed gentle kisses along a strong jaw before nuzzling her nose into the now familiar space between shoulder and neck. Alicia's scent, something she had often recognized at a distance, was heightened by their morning activities.

Alicia turned toward Kalinda and pressed a soft kiss to swollen lips. She looked into Kalinda's eyes and thought she was reading her friend perfectly. She thought she saw contentment and willingness to continue whatever this was. She thought she saw in those dark orbs a desire to stay.

"Will you give me a ride to my car?" Kalinda hummed against Alicia's sweaty forehead.

"Yes," an affirmative response, though noticeably disappointed.

"Drinks tonight," Kalinda assured her to the lawyer's relief. "Tequila, to be precise."

The memory of many nights of carefree friendship came to the forefront of both their minds. That first night Kalinda insisted they have tequila was, looking back on it, something she knew they both needed. Where they each needed a friend, that need grew to needing much more. As they held each other after an unexpectedly blissful morning, neither could fathom ever not needing this. Perhaps because they knew what it was like to have been without one another following their falling out or maybe because they had each had their share of partners who symbolized everything that this relationship wasn't, whatever it was, they knew how important this moment and their future was.

"I should get dressed," Kalinda spoke.

"You certainly don't have to," Alicia smirked. "But you might get some odd looks at the bar."

"As long as you're looking, I wouldn't care."

The investigator pressed a gentle kiss to the crown of messy brunette locks before scooting to the edge of the bed and sitting up. She could feel the lawyer's eyes memorizing every curve of her shoulders, hips and spine.

"I guess I will throw on some clothes to drive you."

"That's a shame," Kalinda smiled as she pulled on her skirt.

"Mmhmm."

Alicia stood and walked to the bathroom where she met Kalinda's dark eyes in the mirror, having watched her hungrily as she made her way out of the bed. Smiling, Alicia shut the door.

Kalinda was waiting in the kitchen, her hair once again pulled up, when Alicia emerged from the bathroom. In her tight leather jacket, it was obvious there was a bulge in one pocket. Curious, Alicia wrapped her arms around the woman and snuck a hand into the bulging pocket. It didn't take more than one touch of lace for the lawyer to know what she had her hand on.

"Let me take these," Alicia was almost purring near Kalinda's ear. "I'll launder them with my delicates. And if you're nice I may give them back."

Kalinda turned and pressed a firm kiss to Alicia's lips. When she pulled away, her words left Alicia breathless.

"I wouldn't mind if you kept them."

Stunned, Alicia was pulled from her thoughts by a chuckle near the front door.

"Are you ready?" she looked up to find a beautifully sly smile on Kalinda's face.

The ride down the elevator was much less eventful than it had been coming up. Getting in the car was also without incident, the previous night laughable by comparison.

Neither woman spoke nor did they look at one another as Alicia maneuvered the car out of the underground garage. As sunlight lit up the car and she pulled out onto the street, a heavy sigh passed Alicia's lips. Kalinda read it perfectly, responding with a gentle hand placed on the lawyer's upper thigh. They exchanged a look assuring one another that leaving the apartment complex, truly exiting the shadows, was something they would handle together.

The short ride to the bar was over before either of them broke the silence. Aware of the busy shops and sidewalks, Alicia didn't know how to say goodbye discreetly. A kiss was out of the question in these surroundings. The governor's wife kissing another woman would be a story. She hadn't made a decision when she found Kalinda leaning in to kiss her cheek.

"This will have to do," the investigator whispered in Alicia's ear.

Pulling back she smiled that mysterious smile of hers that always had people wondering how she always knew what they were thinking.

"Drinks at 7?" Alicia smiled.

"I'll see you then."

Kalinda climbed out of the car, closed the door and walked in front of the car, offering a knowing smile at Alicia before crossing the street.

There was a sense of déjà vu as Alicia watched the investigator enter the bar. Seeing the bartender hand over the keys he had confiscated the night before, she thought back to how broken they had both been last night. Their time together had soothed body and soul.

Drinks. Therein lay both a promise as much as forgiveness.

_-finis-_

_Author's Note: I've written 50+ stories, some I remember and some I don't. That won't be the case with this one. It has been an absolute pleasure to co-write this piece, a story that originated in The Good Scottish Wife's mind and came to life with the words I brought to it. I won't be forgetting this one anytime soon. Cheers. -dkc_


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